❐ Aynal karigor
The recent incidents of rape and abuse of children across the country have raised public concern. The entire area has become a battlefield in the Bakalia incident in Chittagong. The information from recent incidents shows that danger to children does not only come from strangers. It also comes from familiar faces. It also comes from places of trust. Nowhere is a child safe, be it a boy or a girl, whether in the family, the vicinity of relatives, a neighbor’s house or an educational institution.
So now is the time for every parent to have a difficult but essential conversation — with their child. That conversation is called: Good Touch and Bad Touch. For the sake of your child’s safety, break the inertia and get ready now.
Statistics that cannot be ignored
Statistics from the human rights organization Ain O Salish Kendra (ASK) show that at least 522 children were killed in the country in the 16 months from January 2025 to April this year. On average, more than 32 children lost their lives every month.
During the same period, 1,223 children were subjected to extreme torture, including rape, or an average of more than 76 per month.
Of these, from January to May 20 this year — just four and a half months — at least 118 children have been raped in the country. At least 46 more have been victims of attempted rape. At least 17 children have been killed after being raped. At least four children have lost their lives after being raped in the last two weeks.
These numbers are not just statistics. Behind every number is a childhood interrupted, a broken family, and a terrified society. And it is in this society that your child is growing up. So it is your responsibility to keep him or her safe — right now, today.
What is good touch and bad touch?
The first thing to do is to explain to the child that not all touch is equal. Some touch is good, some touch is bad, and some touch is confusing.
Good touch is touch that makes a child feel safe, warm, and good. Such as a mother’s hug, a walk holding a father’s hand, a handshake with a friend, or a necessary health check by a doctor — which is done with the child’s permission and in the presence of a guardian.
Bad touch is any touch that makes a child feel uncomfortable, afraid, or embarrassed. Especially when someone else touches parts of the body that are covered by swimwear or underwear — that is, breasts, genitals, buttocks — it is always bad touch. Tell the child clearly: these areas are his or hers alone. No one else can touch them except for parents and necessary medical care (in the presence of a guardian).
A confusing touch is a touch that creates mixed feelings in the child’s mind. For example, the touch of a familiar person or relative that initially seems normal, but gradually becomes uncomfortable. Teach the child that if any touch makes the child feel uncomfortable, that is a signal.
Five basic things to teach your child
One: The body is completely his own. Tell the child confidently that his body is his alone. No one can touch him without his permission. Not even a familiar relative. Do not force anyone to hug or kiss him — not even in a family gathering. This creates a protective boundary in the child’s mind.
Two: Saying ‘no’ is his right. Teach your child that if he feels uncomfortable with any touch, he can say ‘no’ loudly and clearly. Let him know that saying ‘no’ is not rude, it is his right. This rule applies equally to adults or acquaintances.
Three: There will be no secret touches. Teach the child that if an adult tells him to keep these touches a secret — then that is the biggest danger signal. Good people never burden a child with secrets. This one lesson can prevent many crimes.
Four: Signals when you feel uneasy in your stomach or mind. Explain in childish language — when you feel a strange feeling in your stomach, your chest flutters, you feel scared or embarrassed — it means something is wrong. The body is giving you signals. You have to trust those signals.
Five: Tell everything to someone you trust. Help your child identify at least three trusted adults — mom, dad, grandma, or a close relative — to whom they can talk without fear. Make it clear: If someone touches you badly, you will tell me. I will not get angry, I will not blame you.
Teach how to identify criminals
Research shows that in most cases, child sexual abusers are not strangers. They can be family members, relatives, teachers, neighbors, or acquaintances. So teach your child to recognize behavior, not appearance.
Behaviors that a potential perpetrator may engage in include — closing the door to the room when the child is alone, trying to lure the child closer with special gifts or money, wanting to see or touch different parts of the body, and trying to separate them from others. In addition, threatening to keep the incident a secret or sweet-talking and saying that it is normal or that everyone does it — these are also clear signs of danger.
Tell your child that if someone behaves this way, they don’t need to be trusted and should leave immediately.
What to do in case of danger — Practical lessons in self-defense
The child needs to be taught not only theory, but also what to do in real situations.
Saying ‘no’ loudly and shouting. Teach your child that if he senses danger, he will immediately say ‘no’ loudly and shout without hesitation. He will not think about public embarrassment. He will not stop even if it is a familiar person. If he shouts, people will gather — this is the greatest protection.
Run away from there. Teach your child that if they sense danger, they should leave the area as quickly as possible. They should go to a place where there are people — a store, a street, or a nearby house. If necessary, they should try to defend themselves, even if it means scratching or biting.
Inform the people close to you. Don’t let the child stop after the incident. Let him go to a trusted person and tell the incident. Remind him that it’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything wrong.
Teach your child to ask for help. Make them memorize certain phrases. For example: ‘Save me’, ‘Help’, ‘This person is trying to harm me’, ‘Call my parents.’ These phrases come out automatically when the brain freezes in a moment of danger.
Memorize the national child helpline number. The national helpline number for child abuse in Bangladesh is 1098. Teach your child to remember this number and ask them to call it themselves if necessary. Or there is the emergency helpline 999.
Special precautions in educational and religious institutions
Recent events show that children are not safe even in trusted environments like educational institutions and maktabs-madrasas. Therefore, as a parent, you need to be vigilant about some things.
When your child returns from school or Maktab, talk to him/her in a normal way – what he/she read, who said what, how he/she felt. Find out if any teacher or adult calls him/her alone. If he/she suddenly becomes afraid or refuses to go to a particular place, patiently ask him/her why.
Tell your child in advance that if anyone, be it a teacher or a religious figure, takes him or her home alone and closes the door — he or she should immediately come out and tell you.
What to do as a parent
Talking to your child about this is not about scaring them, but about empowering them. Keep a few things in mind.
Speak according to age. Teach three- to five-year-olds the correct names of the body parts covered by swimwear and that touching someone is bad touch. Teach six- to ten-year-olds about good touch and bad touch, the right to say no, and telling people you trust. Teach eleven-year-olds and older about online safety, the concept of consent, and helping friends protect themselves.
It doesn’t have to be said once. This discussion is an ongoing process. Bring it up again and again, naturally, on different occasions, at different ages. Remember, if your child ever says something — believe it first. Don’t doubt, don’t get angry, don’t hide it. Because your reaction will determine whether he or she will say anything else in the future.
And most importantly — set boundaries within your own family. Don’t force your child to hug or kiss anyone they don’t want to hug, even your close relative.
Last words
Khandaker Farzana Rahman, associate professor of criminology at Dhaka University, said, “Zero tolerance is needed for those who commit crimes against children, and the issue of child protection has never been given due importance in the political agenda. Until the state and society take that responsibility, every parent will have to become the first protector of their child.”
A conversation, a teaching, a hug saying — ‘I will believe whatever you say’ — these small steps could one day save your child’s life.
Start today. Don’t delay that conversation.
National Child Helpline of the Department of Social Services: 1098 (Completely free – no call charges, open 24 hours)
https://stapravda.ru/20221228/reyting_samyh_populyarnyh_hostingov_v_rossii_196445.html, рейтинг хостингов России подтверждает, что выбор надежного провайдера важен для бизнеса.